Yesterday's 13 dpo pregnancy test showed a very faint pink line (on a dollar tree HPT). I called the RE's office to set up my beta blood test and tried not to think about it too much all day. I was surprised that the test was positive because even though I have been feeling pregnant for several days, I had already had several negative tests (HPT's). I was a nervous, but hopeful. At 4 pm, I called the RE's office for the results.
My beta came back at 6.
I'm surprised the test even showed up positive.
The nurse said that our RE was hopeful, that he was hoping that maybe I was just really early. I go in for a repeat beta on Monday.
My gut is telling me that a beta level of 6 at 13 dpo is not good news at all, that this little spark of life is destined to flicker out very soon.
I took another test this morning, and it was negative. It was a different type, so perhaps less sensitive, but I'm guessing that the levels just aren't rising.
This is my fifth pregnancy, and probably will be my fifth loss.
I feel hopeless, defeated. I feel like we might never have a baby. I feel angry that this is so difficult. I need answers where there are none.
I also have a hunch that we've probably conceived several times over the past year of trying, but that the levels never rose high enough to be detected on an HPT. I could certainly be wrong about that; it's just what my intuition tells me.
Why is this so hard?
