23 weeks

I've been a bad blogger, I know. I apologize.

Things are fairly good here in babylust land.

Here's the short story on Bumble:

We had our 2nd ultrasound with Dr. Love, our perinatologist, on January 4. Bumble looks great - she was measuring a week ahead, weighed 15 ounces, and was in the 72nd percentile for weight for babies of her gestational age. I still have complete placenta previa, and Dr. Love pointed out a big patch of blood, but we aren't clear whether or not it was a new bleed or something older. The good news is that the bleeding doesn't appear to be affecting Bumble's growth, and we were all pleased with that. When we asked Dr. Love what he thought our chances were of the placenta moving, he didn't think they were good. I asked a midwife friend about this and she said that the placenta is more likely to move if it is a marginal or partial previa, and less likely to move if it is complete. So, again, we look like we're moving in the direction of a c-section.

We had another OB appointment today, and everything still looks good. Our OB will perform the c-section, and she said that they usually schedule them about 2 weeks before the estimated due date, assuming that I don't have any further complications and that we don't have to deliver earlier. So, that means that Bumble with be coming home with us in approximately 3 1/2 months. Three and a half months!

I've been feeling Bumble move on a regular basis. This pregnancy has given me terrible insomnia, so I'm generally awake between 12 am and 2 am, when she seems to be the most active. I've even started to see my belly move sometimes when she kicks. I am also more aware of her kicking other places besides my belly - my bladder, in particular. My belly has popped out even more in the past week. I already feel huge and I can't imagine how ginormous I'll feel in the upcoming months.

The biggest complication I've been having is my muscle stiffness, which seems to be getting progressively worse. It even caused me to fall two weeks ago. Thankfully, I fell on my backside, which has a little more padding these days, thanks to the 10 pounds I've put on in the past month. Anyhow, the fall really freaked me out and I scheduled an appointment to see my primary care doctor. She was very concerned about the situation and got me an appointment with a neurologist - which I'll be going to tomorrow. I was thankful that she was able to get me in so quickly. It doesn't seem to be affecting the pregnancy in any way, it's just making me even more clumsy, much to my husband's dismay. I have to be really careful when getting up from a seated or squatting position, and I have to move really, really slowly as to not trip or lose my balance. Hopefully, we'll have some answers on that soon.

I've been doing a ton of research on baby products and I think we have most things figured out. I'm excited to cloth diaper, even though people keep telling John that I'm crazy for wanting to do it. We've picked out several things for the nursery, and we'll be ordering those soon. I'm most definitely in a nesting mode and I feel anxious to get the baby's room all set in case I have to go on bedrest or in case she comes even earlier than we think.

I also realized that I'm having a tremendous amount of anxiety that I seem to be channeling into research, nesting, and trying to tackle the list of projects John and I want to complete before Bumble is here. My biggest fear is that Bumble will come early - too early - and that we'll lose her after coming this far. I think the anxiety is fueled because we're still a few weeks before she could really have a good chance of making it, and that makes me very, very nervous. I also think that preparing to buy some things for her - her crib and mattress - brings up so many emotions for me. It's hard to believe that we're only a few short months from bringing our daughter home.

I have much more to say, but I'm out of energy for the night. I've come down with my second cold in a month, and I'm just about out of energy for now. I have at least a dozen posts floating around in my head about various things that I've been thinking about and working through, and I will try to be more disciplined about typing it all out.

Tomorrow, my mom and I head to North Carolina for a shower to celebrate my sister-in-law and their baby boy, who is expected in early March. I am beyond thrilled that Bumble will be so close in age to his cousin. Let's just hope they get along better than my brother and I did when we were coming along.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support and concern - and for the hope that you help me hold onto. It means the world to me.

Comments

[Susan]

It's great to hear from you!! I'm very glad Bumble is doing well. I hope your cold goes away. Enjoy yourself at the shower. I enjoyed nesting. I got to clean and organize the entire house.

[throwingutah]

Cloth isn't that big a deal - they certainly smell better than disposables do. The biggest downside for me was the amount of space I needed for my stash. What're you planning to use?

[Michelle]

Nikole
I felt exactly the same way when I was pregnant with Molly, I was terrified to put the nursery together even though I was anxious to do it. It kept me feeling like I was in control, which anyone who has had recurrent miscarriage knows is really impossible. I never relaxed about bringing her home, but I got more comfortable with the idea that it might happen at the end.
I didn't have placenta previa, but I did have a C section and it wasn't bad at all. I healed quite nicely, and since some of my friends delivered naturally and tore horribly, I felt like I may have been the lucky one.
I'm sooooo thrilled for you. Keep us updated when you are feeling up to it.
Michelle

[Mad]

It's so nice to hear that things are going well for you (despite the pp). I had a c-section (and really wanted a natural birth)... but I ended up with a healthy baby and I'm eternally grateful (and there was no ripping!)... which was quite nice.

Cloth diapering is great. I LOVE it! I just posted on it actually. BTW I read most of the books you're reading and they are great! My biggest regret about 'stuff' was not gettting an organic baby mattress and saying 'no' to plastic stuff from the very beginning.

[skm]

I was so happy to read this post. I've been thinking about you a lot recently. We're going to cloth diaper, too, so take notes for me. : ) Hope to see you soon.

[majBEEF]

I am like your husband... I get very nervous when my pregnant wife stands up, wobbles, then shuffles down the hall. I am constantly reminding her to sit down/stand up/move more slowly and deliberately. I hope she knows I am just being protective of her and not being a nag.

Anyways, congrats on 23 weeks.

[Andi]

Nikole,

SO good to have a positive update! I've been fretting. :-) Like Michelle above, I had a C-section. The first week was tough, but after that I was SO glad to have had that instead of a vaginal birth. I've had too many girlfriends say that their vaginal labors were a very difficult recovery. My C-section seemed like a breeze in comparison. It made my maternity leave much more enjoyable I think. I could focus on my baby instead of my recovery.

Also, I relate to the losing-baby fears after coming along so far. When you suffer with the pain of past pregnancy losses, it's hard to enjoy all the little in-the-moment experiences with a healthy pregnancy. We're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But try if you can to consciously breathe in the moments...the baby will be here before you know it and you'll wish you had enjoyed it more.

Blessings, blessings, and more blessings on all three of you! I anxiously await more news! (And pictures eventually.) :-)

Andi

[SaraS-P]

I can certainly forgive your lack of blogging when I can guess you have simply been preoccupied with finally apparently (hopefully) getting what you've wanted for so long. I can't say I am certain I will blog nearly as often once I actually get to experience second and/or third trimester. I guess you are still in the second, but wow you are awfully close to the third trimester and that makes me very happy.

Hope the previa doesn't cause too many hassles and continues to not affect Bumble's development.

[Heather]

Glad to hear everything is going well. You're in my thoughts. Hoping the next few months for you are as uneventful as possible.

[Mimi]

I'm so glad everthing is okay! I was anxious, too. We went through fertility treatment to conceive our daughter, and that in itself was a roller coaster. When it finally worked, I was scared to death of losing the baby. It all worked out, though, and if I had it all to do over again, I might be a little less anxious.

I'm so excited for you that you're almost there! These next few months will fly by! Take it easy and let John take good care of you. And get your rest! You'll need to save up for when Bumble comes home!

[Kath]

Dear Nikole, it is so good to hear that all is well with you, and that the fall didn't do any harm. I can understand your anxiety so well, and am hoping with all my heart that things continue to go so well for you and Bumble.

[erin]

Nikole,

I'm glad to hear things are going well, and will keep you in my thoughts over the next few weeks...this is soo exciting! I hope the Bumble continues to do well- she sounds like she'll be a swimmer with those kicking feet! <3e