thank you

...for all of your kind words this week. They have meant so much to me.

I am amazed at the weight that anniversaries carry. It seems that the body and soul remember, even when the mind is not focused on the approaching date. For several weeks leading up to the anniversary, I noticed that I felt really heavy - my heart, my body - all of me. I was tired and sluggish and sad. Even when I wasn't thinking about Lucas, I felt this way -  I just seemed to linger in this place of grey.

I've shed a good bit of tears this week. I've looked at Lucas's  ultrasound pictures and read the sweet cards we received from family and friends. I journaled. I whispered my hopes to the Universe. I snuggled Rilo. I held my husband close.

I'm pretty sure I ovulated last night. Today, we go to the RE's for a post-coital test. And then we wait.

Comments

[Mary Ellen]

I hope that the test comes back with good results. Thinking of you.

[shazz]

Thinking of you. Fingers crossed for the test results.

[Sunny]

It sounds like you have done all that you needed to do this week with the anniversary. It is amazing how your mind doesn't catch up with your body until the very last minute.

I hope you have great results with your test. It was one of my least favorite ones. I was so embarrassed having everyone know that I just had a moment with my husband and it was still working its way out.

HUGS!

[Nicole]

I love you! I have been thinking a lot about you the past few days. I hope that the test will come back with positive results. I'll be praying for you!

[Kath]

Dear Nikole, I'm so sorry about your sad anniversary, and so touched that this past year has been one of so many meaningful changes for you. It's a lovely gift from you and your husband to Lucas, and of course a lovely gift from him to you.

I hope the test results are good, my dear, and that things come together for you very soon.

[Christy]

Just a reminder that it's okay to shout at the universe (as well as whisper) every so often, too.
Thinking of you, doll. -Christy

[Janette]

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