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August 28, 2006



Hi, Nikole. I'm glad that you and John had a good talk, and taking a break from trying to conceive sounds like a good option to consider. I took a break after each of my miscarriages (one break lasted almost a year), and I found the reprieves to be very helpful and rejuvenating. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you peace.


Hey Nikole,

As I might have mentioned in my e-mail, we took a break for over a year and at 36, that was not an easy decision to make. But, it gave me my life back. (That's actually when I went back to school to become a life coach, so there are some parallels here!)

It often seems counter-intuitive to take a break from something you want and deserve, our society tends to be a go-for-it, all or nothing culture. But for me, taking the pressure off gave me an entirely new perspective. I find myself handling this round of treatments so much better, on pretty much every level.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't be afraid to follow your heart and your intuition, sometimes that's your best guide to moving forward!

I wish you all the best, whatever you and John decide to do.



I am thinking about you!


Nikole - I have felt the same way - wanting a break to gain some semblance of control back over my life, but unable to fully let go of my very deep desire to be a mother.

I wish I had some advice for you... the best I can offer is take one day at a time, one cycle at a time. Maybe a good solution is to take THIS cycle off, then reassess.

As always, I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best. My love to you.


I just want to say that I know all too well about the anxiety/insomnia combination and I completely understand how you feel. It is the worst possible feeling. I really hope you are feeling better soon. I'm glad you got a good night sleep, sometimes that is the best medicine.
Thinking of you!

Lisa at Baby be Mine

W and I took a break after MC #2. It was more his decision than mine, and I am glad he made me see that it was for the best even though I still sometimes wonder if I wold be pregnant right now if we had NOT taken break. I hope you make the decision that is best for you. Remember, if you are meant to be a mother, it will happen, and in the grand scheme of things, what I have realized for myself, anyway, is that taking a few months off last spring really was not that big a deal, and I am better for it now that I feel emotionally ready to try again. I'm thinking about you.


I think having some control over your life is very important. And very powerful. Whatever you decide, go with it and don't second-guess yourself. There's no "right" answer here. Go with your heart.

Womb in waiting

Nikole, I think you acknowledging you need a break is a brave step...it is also bringing the attention & energy back to you which i think is so vital.
i understand the anxiety & uncertainty but i would also say trust your inner self to know what is right for you xx


I say if your gut or inner voice is telling you your body needs a break...then you should listen to it.
You have plenty of time to be a mom...and you will.
I also think it might be a good time to take a break because things like this build into big snowballs that just keep getting bigger and bigger. And you don't have time to assess all the crap that's loaded into the snow ball..b/c its all going so fast.
I think its a good idea, if you do, to stop for awhile and re-assess. I bet you'd come back to your journey with a fresh perspective.

i wish you the best.


Decisions, decisions. Why can't they be easier? I second some of the other commenters ... whatever your heart tells you will be "right."


Hi Nikole! I have to agree with those who say "follow your heart," even if it seems counterintuitive. If you sense that you need to take a few deep breaths before plunging back into the maelstrom of treatments, it's probably a good and wise thing to do.


Hi Nikole - I have been checking in over the last few months here but I have never commented... You're a tuff lady, you are ... Today I just wanted to thank you for your kind words over at my place last week. :)


Sometimes a break is really just the best thing you can do for yourself. I also agree with the other comments that you need to listen to yuor heart and that will steer you in the right direction. You have to believe that you WILL be a mother, and taking some time off to continue to reflect on things isn't going to take that away from you. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best.


I remember reading through tertia's archives, and her saying that she coped MILES better after a break than when she went back to back with treatment. I think if you are contemplating it, it sounds like the right answer. Me? I'm so terrified of that 40th birthday speeding towards me that I can't bring myself to do it. But if this one fails as well, I may just have to decide that we need to do something else for a while.

I know what you mean bout the physical exhaustion. Our holiday was great for that - I thought about infertility so much less.



I feel rather similar. I am so afraid to move on and try again/something new. Part of me cries for infertility free time, but I can't switch my mind of, I want to be a mum so badly.

Working out is great. Get yourself physically exhausted.




I think that you should go with your gut, which seems to be saying to step back for a bit. If you feel you are making some good progress with your life coach, by all means, pursue where that is going because I have no doubt it will help you address and assess the other sources of anxiety in your life (both fertility and career). This will ultimately ensure that the path you are on is the right one, and that you are best equipped to deal with whatever that path will offer up.


I've been through this--after getting a recommendation last november for IVF, I decided to take a break for many reasons--I was emotionally tapped out, we didn't have the money yet, and I wanted to live "normally" for a change. The last year helped me get my mind set--but I will say it was a very hard decision to make. I agree with everyone else about listening to your heart. Only you know what's right for you right now. I wish you the very best...

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