babylust

transition

I'll still be posting here occasionally, but for the most part, I will be writing on my other weblog - clearframe.

Stop by to say hello and to see baby Thea updates!

babylove

mama and baby:

fierce

At today's pediatrician appointment, Thea weighed in at a whopping 6 lbs, 14 oz. That's a gain of 11 ounces in 6 days. And I was worried that she wasn't gaining fast enough!

The doctor gave us the okay to follow her cues instead of sticking to the three hour feeding schedule - hopefully this will let me get a tad more sleep at night.

So, now we'll work on getting her off the shield. We meet with the lactation consultant next Wednesday, if we haven't figured it out on our own by then.

Wish us luck!

glow in the woods

If you haven't been here already, go right away. You will not leave untouched. Your pain will be held gently. Your voice will be heard.

What is glow in the woods?

from the website:

For mamas of still babies, tiny babies, lost potential of all kinds. 

In the beginning you stagger, disoriented, through this storm.

 

We want to be a glow through the trees, a golden refuge of log and glass. Stumble up the steps, shake off the snow and the crust and the stiffness, cross the threshold to be encircled by figures welcoming, nodding, easing you to a roaring fire and piping hot tea and wine and whoopie pies and whatever else warms you from the inside out.

 

Sink into a battered old sofa, tuck your feet under your legs, a woodsmokey quilt around your shoulders, fingers wrapped around a hot mug,

 

and be with us.

   

One of us, only half-joking, said this will be a place where us medusas can take off our hats, none minding the sight of all the snakes. Because not only can we bear the sight of each other—we crave it.

Babylost mamas, this place is yours.

Thanks to my friend Jen Lemen for pointing me in the direction of this site.

two weeks

Thea is two weeks old today. Here's a celebration in photos.

Waking up is hard work:

grow baby grow

My lovely friend (and amazing jewelry artist) Nancy made these matching bracelets for Thea and I. She suggested that I could wear my bracelet to help me with breastfeeding - the bracelet could be moved from wrist to wrist to remind me which breast to start nursing on during Thea's next feeding. This thoughtful and beautiful gift has been especially helpful. Feeding Thea - or some aspect of breastfeeding - has been just about all I've been able to manage this week.

Monday, we met with Thea's pediatrician for her first appointment. She gave us the green light to stop supplementing with formula and to try exclusively breastfeeding. So we did. Tuesday afternoon, we met with a lactation consultant. She promptly informed me that the bright red areas and soreness on my breasts were NOT normal and that I was on the verge of mastitis, a breast infection. She walked us through the basics of positions, latch, and a feeding routine. I had been having difficulty getting Thea to latch on to my nipple while Thea was in the progressive care nursery, and the hospital's lactation consultant got us started using a nipple shield. The LC we met with on Tuesday suggested that we continue using the shield until Thea is a bit stronger and able to latch on and suck a little better - probably another two weeks. We'll then go back for a follow-up to work on the transition to bare breast.

Because I'm using the shield, and because of my crazy milk production and the inflammation, she advised me to pump after each feeding session. Halfway through pumping, I am to apply a warm compress and massage to help empty my breasts. We finished our consultation with a lesson on pumping. I had been doing it all wrong (using the wrong settings on the pump) AND the folks at the hospital had gotten me started using the wrong size attachments, which were not allowing me to completely empty my breasts, leading to the clogged ducts and inflammation. After Thea's feeding session (where she drank two ounces),  I pumped another 5 ounces. And at one point I was worried about producing enough milk!

So, now we're following Thea's feeding cues, which means she generally wants to eat every 2-3 hours. With the nursing, pumping, and settling down of little Thea afterwards, I'm getting very little sleep. It seems like all I'm doing is feeding her or pumping, and it's starting to get a little old (the pumping, not the feeding). I keep telling myself that it's only for a couple more weeks, but it's exhausting. Last night, John got up with me at 3 am and gave her a bottle while I pumped. Then he stayed up with her while she settled down, and I got to go back to bed. It was heavenly. I'm trying not to feel guilty about giving her the bottle, and I keep reminding myself that a bottle a day is not going to ruin her learning to breastfeed, and that a healthy and rested mama is good for baby.

And, at our follow up appointment and weight check with the pediatrician today, Thea had gained 4 ounces since Monday - so we must be doing something right.