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March 18, 2008

Comments

Megan

I'm so glad you have a date and a plan. You are so blessed...to be carrying this child...YOUR child, and to have so many on your side making sure she gets here healthy, safe, and sound. I know many people who would give their right arm and leg to have that chanceā€”if only they could go back in time. One day while I was lamenting my losses to my Mother in Law, I mentioned how I felt sad that I would never know the naive joy of just getting pregnant and being excited and having it go smoothly. That when it does happen for me again, I will be scared, worried, and freaked out for 9 months. She smiled at me and said "The pregnancy is just the beginning; the real joy comes when you finally hold your baby in your arms. That is when you will really feel excited and joyful. That is the real miracle." And I was touched by that. I look forward to having that one day, no matter what it takes to get there. And you are just a few days away from it! All your hard work is paying off. Hugs to you!

emily

34 days! How exciting!

I am a long-time lurker..I found you through some of the infertility blogs over a year ago. I wanted to tell you that I know exactly how you are feeling.

I also had Placenta Previa that was diagnosed when I bled profusely at 17 weeks. I actually bled the entire pregnancy and was on bedrest most of it. That kid just would not stop kicking my cervix! Argh! At 36 weeks my poor placenta had gone NOWHERE. I delivered my son via c-section at 37w2d (I had partial PP, not complete like you). He was perfectly healthy and the recovery was fine.

I had a lot of sadness and anxiety over not delivering vaginally also. But, there's no other way when you have PP. Spend some time trying to make peace with it- but, I understand it's harder than it sounds. I now believe that scheduled c-sections are the way to go. But, I'm a planner like that!

I wish you a ton of luck. Enjoy the next 34 days! I look forward to hearing about Bumble's arrival!

Jayne

I was disappointed the day I was told I had to have a c-section. In the days leading up to it, the disappointment nagged at me, although I knew intellectually that the most important thing was for us both to come through it healthy. But, really, in the OR, as soon as the nurse rubbed that little screaming baby face against my face and he grabbed my nose with his little fist, all disappointment was forgotten. And the hour I spent in the recovery room I had this goofy smile on my face knowing he was waiting for me. Even though it wasn't what I planned, I honestly would not change a single moment of that day. I can't guarantee the experience will be the same for you, but I can say that in the long run, it won't seem that bad.

Harmony

you must be so excited- only 34 more days!!!!

you will be in my thoughts- good luck and i hope that day is one of the most beautiful you ever experience- i know it will be fore you- you truly deserve it!

Harmony

you must be so excited- only 34 more days!!!!

you will be in my thoughts- good luck and i hope that day is one of the most beautiful you ever experience- i know it will be fore you- you truly deserve it!

Adrienne

I just saw the Business of Being Born and thought of you the whole time. I know the idea of a c-section must be hard for you but your friend is right - you have been laboring a long time! My heart is so full with joy for you!! 33 more days!!

Kate

I felt a lot of your same feelings when I was told that I needed a c-section. My daughter will be three months old on Friday and I can honestly say I haven't thought about any of that since the delivery day. Your perfect little girl will arrive in this world and you won't think about anything else. Even the pain of the past and your losses will start to disappear. It's amazing.

Andi

I had an emergency C-Section with Monkey. I was very disappointed with not being able to delivery vaginally, after the long IF journey we had been dealt. What else can be taken from me?!?!?

Even today, I feel a bit cheated like you when I really dwell on it. But the little guy is almost 7 months old and everyday I am more and more in love with him. I have to remind myself when I dwell on what I missed out too often, that I AM A MOM. More than anything else I wished for, I wanted to be a mom. More than a pregnancy, more than a vaginal birth. So here I am. How he got here means little now that he's in my arms and healthy and curious and the love of my life!

I promise you, someday...how Bumble entered the world won't mean a hill of beans. YOU ARE A MOM!!!

Jonah Holland

I'm so happy for you! Bumble will be here soon! YAY! Call me if I can help in anyway....What a lucky Bumble to have 2 such awesome parents! You are gonna' do GREAT!

SaraS-P

Wow. A real date. Congrats on coming so far (finally)!

You have earned this!

Cheryl Lage

So, so, so happy for all of you, Nikole! I've just received a wonderful book called "The Best Birth"...the gist of which is (and I know you are already reconciling this in your mind...the heart often takes longer)regardless of path of entry, the point is that safe entry...for all parties involved.

At the risk of being somewhat "unnatural" and maybe even birth-blasphemous, truly for me (and I did birth two babies vaginally) the process of "pushing them out" was NOT the euphoric bonding-with-the-generations-before-me experience I had heard so loftily described. With 100% honesty and hindsight 20/20, I can say that I feel certain I'd have been equally "satisfied" either route. In situations wherein women have really counted on that nirvana post-vaginal delivery moment based on others' birth stories, I daresay many might be disappointed---but would feel way too embarrassed/guilty to speak of it. (Except for me! ;) )

As others have said above, what DID match/exceed the hype was seeing those baby eyes for the first time. Every mama is so very different...in a way, the fact that you can prepare well for your experience, knowing that you all will be well cared for throughout, and no "curve balls" will be thrown after having set such high hopes for as what many have had as a well-designed birth plan that for one reason or other is just not meant to be...well, I hope that you can find some well-deserved, long-fought for, peace with that. It sounds like the wonderful readers and supporters above have...you will too!

We love you all so, and can hardly wait to meet Bumble!

Jenny

nikole, what great news!! re your c-section, it's great that you are so in touch with your feelings and i know you will move gracefully into your birth process. like you say, it is a huge gift that Bumble can make it here safely and there are people with the smarts and technology to get her here. interesting what cheryl says about the myth of the perfect vaginal birth. life itself is such a mixed bag and there is always something not quite right to key on, isn't there? even more so when it comes to major life events...losing your virginity, having a wedding, a big vacation, etc. in some ways the less we strain to make them perfect the more perfect, and poignant, they are. thank you nikole's body for growing such a healthy strong Bumble! we can't wait to see her face. xoxox

l.

After my first child was born (vaginally, just before 36 weeks, lung function fine) I was upset feeling that I hadn't handled the birth "well" enough - as in, I spent my three hours of labour pleading "I want drugs" (for which it was basically too late) and "I can't do this." It took me months to stop feeling like I hadn't been brave enough. Now I realize I got the outcome I wanted, a safe birth, and I was in fact brave enough. With my second baby I was much easier on myself.
l.

serenity

Nikole - I can't believe you're 34 weeks already! So fantastic!!!

I also wanted to tell you - I was in the same place as you only a few weeks ago. And when I hold my son and I nurse him... how he got into my arms really just melts away. And you're just left with that love, that wonder that this impossibly small person was INSIDE you for 9 months.

All my best in the next couple of weeks. April 18 - a good day to hold your Bumble. :)

xxx

Michael

http://xkcd.com/387/

mollyk

Nikole - continually thinking of you. Sending you hugs and love your way. Thank you for all that you share. I appreciate it.

Kelly

Congratulations on your journey! I am so happy for you. And you are right and entitled to your feelings of disappointment about how your birth will go, but the other posters are right...once you hold your miracle baby, you won't care so much how she got there. You will have grown a baby!! Revel in your triumph and congratulations!!! You'll be in my thoughts as the time draws near! Enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast.

Rachel

It won't be long until your little one is here! Congratulations on your pregnancy and best wishes to your family...

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