babylust

the diagnosis

I finally have an answer to the mystery of my muscle stiffness.

Yesterday, my neurologist diagnosed me with myotonia congenita, an inherited neuromuscular disorder. From his initial examination and analysis of my symptoms, he believes that I have Becker's Disease, which is one of two manifestations of myotonia congenita. This form of the disease sets in later in childhood or adolescence and tends to cause more pronounced symptoms. It is common for symptoms to be exaggerated during pregnancy, which is what I am experiencing. Cold, stress, and high-potassium foods can also cause symptoms to worsen.

Mostly, I feel good about finally having an explanation for what is going on. But I also feel a little freaked out about it. I'm anxious to talk to my OB and our perinatologist about how this may affect the rest of my pregnancy and delivery. While this condition has been an annoyance for the past 10 plus years, these days, it feels pretty limiting. And I worry that it won't resolve itself after the pregnancy and that it may impact my ability to care for my daughter. I've done a little bit of research and it seems that there can also be some complications during delivery. But I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself and to simply focus on how it is affecting me right now.

I think part of my anxiety about it is that until recently, I really thought that it was due to something in my diet or exercise routine. I always thought that if I figured out what was causing it, I could resolve the problem. So, now it feels a little more scary to me. But hopefully, things will go back to my pre-pregnancy state once Bumble is here. One day at a time, right?

But Bumble seems to be doing well. In fact, she's bumping around in my belly right now. Which is quite possibly the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.

23 weeks

I've been a bad blogger, I know. I apologize.

Things are fairly good here in babylust land.

Here's the short story on Bumble:

We had our 2nd ultrasound with Dr. Love, our perinatologist, on January 4. Bumble looks great - she was measuring a week ahead, weighed 15 ounces, and was in the 72nd percentile for weight for babies of her gestational age. I still have complete placenta previa, and Dr. Love pointed out a big patch of blood, but we aren't clear whether or not it was a new bleed or something older. The good news is that the bleeding doesn't appear to be affecting Bumble's growth, and we were all pleased with that. When we asked Dr. Love what he thought our chances were of the placenta moving, he didn't think they were good. I asked a midwife friend about this and she said that the placenta is more likely to move if it is a marginal or partial previa, and less likely to move if it is complete. So, again, we look like we're moving in the direction of a c-section.

We had another OB appointment today, and everything still looks good. Our OB will perform the c-section, and she said that they usually schedule them about 2 weeks before the estimated due date, assuming that I don't have any further complications and that we don't have to deliver earlier. So, that means that Bumble with be coming home with us in approximately 3 1/2 months. Three and a half months!

I've been feeling Bumble move on a regular basis. This pregnancy has given me terrible insomnia, so I'm generally awake between 12 am and 2 am, when she seems to be the most active. I've even started to see my belly move sometimes when she kicks. I am also more aware of her kicking other places besides my belly - my bladder, in particular. My belly has popped out even more in the past week. I already feel huge and I can't imagine how ginormous I'll feel in the upcoming months.

The biggest complication I've been having is my muscle stiffness, which seems to be getting progressively worse. It even caused me to fall two weeks ago. Thankfully, I fell on my backside, which has a little more padding these days, thanks to the 10 pounds I've put on in the past month. Anyhow, the fall really freaked me out and I scheduled an appointment to see my primary care doctor. She was very concerned about the situation and got me an appointment with a neurologist - which I'll be going to tomorrow. I was thankful that she was able to get me in so quickly. It doesn't seem to be affecting the pregnancy in any way, it's just making me even more clumsy, much to my husband's dismay. I have to be really careful when getting up from a seated or squatting position, and I have to move really, really slowly as to not trip or lose my balance. Hopefully, we'll have some answers on that soon.

I've been doing a ton of research on baby products and I think we have most things figured out. I'm excited to cloth diaper, even though people keep telling John that I'm crazy for wanting to do it. We've picked out several things for the nursery, and we'll be ordering those soon. I'm most definitely in a nesting mode and I feel anxious to get the baby's room all set in case I have to go on bedrest or in case she comes even earlier than we think.

I also realized that I'm having a tremendous amount of anxiety that I seem to be channeling into research, nesting, and trying to tackle the list of projects John and I want to complete before Bumble is here. My biggest fear is that Bumble will come early - too early - and that we'll lose her after coming this far. I think the anxiety is fueled because we're still a few weeks before she could really have a good chance of making it, and that makes me very, very nervous. I also think that preparing to buy some things for her - her crib and mattress - brings up so many emotions for me. It's hard to believe that we're only a few short months from bringing our daughter home.

I have much more to say, but I'm out of energy for the night. I've come down with my second cold in a month, and I'm just about out of energy for now. I have at least a dozen posts floating around in my head about various things that I've been thinking about and working through, and I will try to be more disciplined about typing it all out.

Tomorrow, my mom and I head to North Carolina for a shower to celebrate my sister-in-law and their baby boy, who is expected in early March. I am beyond thrilled that Bumble will be so close in age to his cousin. Let's just hope they get along better than my brother and I did when we were coming along.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support and concern - and for the hope that you help me hold onto. It means the world to me.